old bag of bones

2012-02-26T07:58:00.002-08:00

2012-02-22T14:43:00.003-08:00

There was a time when I wasn't like this.

2012-02-22T14:42:00.002-08:00

2012-02-18T17:49:00.002-08:00

I'm so tired of living in the city, and never being able to see the stars at night.

2012-02-18T17:49:00.000-08:00

2012-02-05T10:30:00.000-08:00

As bestas quadradas têm duas patas, caminham e não são quadradas.

2012-02-05T10:29:00.000-08:00

2012-02-05T10:26:00.001-08:00

Motivação e inspiração: procura-se.

2012-02-05T10:25:00.000-08:00

2012-01-25T15:57:00.001-08:00

I really tried to do what you wanted. It all went wrong. Again.

2012-01-13T07:08:00.000-08:00

2012-01-11T01:32:00.000-08:00

Feet don't fail me now, take me to the finish line.

2012-01-11T01:30:00.000-08:00

2011-12-31T05:50:00.003-08:00

I've sung every morning since I met you.

2011-12-22T09:37:00.000-08:00

2011-12-16T10:31:00.000-08:00

Nem sempre fui assim. Mas às vezes a vida não corre de acordo com o esperado e as pessoas ficam assim, tornam-se frias. Em relação a ti, as minhas expectativas nunca foram altas. Por isso a queda não foi grande. E apesar de tudo e sendo bastante contraditória, esperava mais vindo de ti. Sempre te tomei como uma pessoa matura. Pelo menos foi assim que te conheci, tinhas uma aura de maturidade bastante elevada, dada a tua idade na altura. Mas como eu disse, a vida nem sempre corre de acordo com o esperado e as pessoas mudam. Ainda não sei se foste tu ou se fui eu que mudei. E seja como for, o que está feito, feito está.

2011-12-16T10:29:00.000-08:00

2011-12-14T10:15:00.001-08:00

Eu estive para aqui a pensar, e decidi que estava farta de ser virada lá para os estrangeiros. Por isso decidi criar outro blog. E criei mesmo, escrevi um textinho todo fofinho a mostrar que afinal ainda sei falar português. Mas já o apaguei. O blog, não o texto. Porque pensei “Caramba, as pessoas já mal metem os pés aqui e achas mesmo que te vão aturar noutro sítio?” e apaguei-o. Durou cerca de uma hora mas já tinha a sentença de morte escrita, a partir do momento em que carreguei na opção “Criar um blog”. Portanto, a partir de agora aqui ainda se fala inglês mas também se fala português. E pronto, vamos a isso.

2011-12-14T09:49:00.000-08:00

2011-12-08T10:27:00.001-08:00

I drown when I see you.

2011-11-30T03:47:00.000-08:00

2011-11-24T16:18:00.000-08:00

Everything I cherish is slowly dying, or it's gone.

2011-11-20T04:31:00.000-08:00

2011-10-31T08:15:00.001-07:00

Don't get answers from eyes. You know that mine can't lie quite as well as yours.

2011-10-31T04:50:00.000-07:00

2011-10-29T08:30:00.000-07:00

Love forever, love is free. Let's turn forever, you and me.

2011-10-29T08:23:00.000-07:00

2011-10-26T15:55:00.001-07:00

Keep your old and wasted words. My heart is breaking like you heard, but the town has always turned these lies and made them all burn.

2011-10-26T15:45:00.000-07:00

2011-10-26T15:40:00.000-07:00

It's a joy to know you're waiting there, writing letters left burning in the air.

2011-10-21T07:28:00.000-07:00

2011-10-20T16:27:00.001-07:00

Laugh until we think we'll die, barefoot on a summer night.

2011-10-20T15:37:00.000-07:00

2011-10-19T16:16:00.001-07:00

Lucidity, come back to me. Put all five senses back to where they're meant to be.

2011-10-19T14:37:00.000-07:00

2011-10-17T16:27:00.001-07:00

You're my river running high, run deep, run wild.

2011-10-16T05:37:00.001-07:00

2011-10-14T16:18:00.000-07:00

I accept chaos. I'm not sure whether it accepts me.

2011-10-12T04:58:00.000-07:00

2011-10-11T13:22:00.000-07:00

There was a time before you but I can't remember it now.

2011-10-10T03:01:00.000-07:00

2011-10-09T18:34:00.001-07:00

If I could just leave my body for the night.

2011-10-09T18:31:00.000-07:00

2011-09-27T03:41:00.000-07:00

Waking up to this is bliss.

2011-09-20T06:39:00.000-07:00

2011-09-20T06:38:00.000-07:00

I know some things have to change.

2011-09-18T08:49:00.000-07:00

2011-09-17T14:51:00.001-07:00

People suck.

2011-09-08T03:53:00.000-07:00

2011-09-04T14:59:00.001-07:00

He said love was painted gold. Like all things growing old, the paint peels and slowly folds.

2011-09-04T14:58:00.000-07:00

2011-08-27T14:20:00.001-07:00

I know I said I was on vacation, but this subject is a lot more important than me enjoying the sun. So, this week I came across a new form of animal torture, one that I still haven’t figured out on how I rather know or to keep being ignorant about it. It’s called shark fining and it’s a mean, brutal and heartless act. Just like any other form of animal abuse. Obviously, I’m against it otherwise I wouldn’t be this disgusted. For those of you who don’t know what it is, shark fining is as the name says, the process of harvesting for sharks fins. The shark is fished and the fins are removed from the shark, while it’s still alive. And then, nine out of ten times, the rest of the shark is thrown back in the water, left there to die on its own. All of this sick torture shit for what? For some stupid Asian soup. Yes, soup, the kind of soup you eat for dinner.

So my question is: how the fuck does this benefit our health, our nutrition and, most important of all the marine ecosystem? We don’t need that shit to be healthier, we don’t survive on shark fin, so why the hell are you killing these animals, who have the same rights to life as us – so called humans, for some stupid tradition with no grounds? Asia seems to have the weirdest and most senseless traditions in this entire world, I mean, the fin sharks, they eat cats and dogs that are supposed to be domestic animals, what else?

Once again, I’m gonna stop talking about this ‘cause it’s just making me feel sick.

2011-08-25T13:26:00.000-07:00

2011-08-22T15:09:00.001-07:00

This blog has decided to take a short vacation, along with its owner. We’ll be back, eventually. And I’ll be posting photos and inspirational quotes, but nothing too fancy or thought through. Because like I said, we’re going on vacation.

2011-08-21T08:36:00.001-07:00

2011-08-19T13:51:00.002-07:00

Don’t remind me of home, or I might notice where I am. It’s true that some things have to change.

2011-08-19T13:51:00.000-07:00

2011-08-10T08:38:00.000-07:00

You gave to me all I know. I will stay here, I will not go.

2011-08-10T08:37:00.000-07:00

2011-08-04T17:27:00.001-07:00

I told you all my darkest secrets, but I think I lied.

2011-07-31T11:53:00.001-07:00

If you love me, why'd you let me go?

2011-07-31T11:52:00.000-07:00

2011-07-30T15:20:00.002-07:00

You’re growing up. And rain sort of remains on the branches of a tree that will someday rule the Earth. And it’s good that there is rain. It clears the month of your sorry rainbow expressions, and it clears the streets of the silent armies… so we can dance.

2011-07-30T15:20:00.000-07:00

2011-07-30T10:24:00.000-07:00

I was raised as a catholic. As my mind progressed and opened up to new things, I reached a point where all those stories told in religious instruction classes about the bible stopped making sense. I started questioning everything, I questioned the existence of a God or some superior force, because as I was raised to believe in God, I was also raised not to believe in things or, let’s call it characters I can’t see, which, if you ask me, is pretty ironic.

So all those years of catholic education went down the drain, I erased everything I was taught and started building up my own theories. But if there is one thing I was taught and never forgot, is that if you forgive, you must forget. In my opinion, things don’t quite work like that. I speak for myself: if, let's say, someone betrays my trust, I might forgive but I can’t forget. I can’t forget. It’s like a stab wound, it doesn’t heal itself overnight. You see, I might forget at the time but I will constantly have this spectrum in the back of my mind always questioning is this going to happen again, do I need to watch my back?

I was also raised to never let anyone step on my toes, so I’d say that this theory of forgive and forget doesn’t always work. Like I said, If you forgive and forget, how can you make sure it won’t happen again? Do you just sit around and wait for it to happen once again? Or do keep your foot behind so you can avoid it? I’d say it’s a defensive metabolism. It’s completely psychological and unconscious but it’s there.

2011-07-25T13:51:00.000-07:00

Wish I could take your lips with me. On the road - wherever I'd be - I'd kiss you goodnight in the far off moonlight; listen to your little voice sing along with the radio, a song that someone else wrote. I don't care, I just need you here. Sparks grow to wild fly, two birds loving on wire. Late night we talk in our sleep, joke about the things that we usually keep. Never been crazy like this. Check my eyes and tell me what it is. I'm sick for you and there's nothing I can do.

2011-07-23T14:57:00.000-07:00

2011-07-17T08:07:00.000-07:00

According to my mom and dad, at 8 pm today I’ll be officially 20 years old. I’m starting to hate my birthday, I really am. A few months ago I was turning 18 and now, from all of a sudden, I’m 20. Like…where the hell did they come from? I’ll be 21 next year! I barely lived my 19’s, I have no memory of doing something really fun or dangerous because this last year has been all about school and now, bam, 20 all rubbed in my face. I just don’t see the point in celebrating the fact that I’m getting older by the minute, I really don’t. Anyway, 20’s…send them in, I’ll deal with it! And thank you to everyone who remembered to wish Happy Birthday, thank you Erica for the lovely post on your blog, thank you everyone!

2011-07-03T11:48:00.000-07:00

2011-07-02T05:35:00.001-07:00

Someday we'll both be older and I wonder if we'll be together looking back on the past. I don't care if I don't live to see another day, I love you in the worst way. You're the only one who's making me come to my sinful senses. I'll never love anyone the same.

2011-07-02T04:39:00.000-07:00

2011-06-28T15:24:00.001-07:00

I knew then that our love was not some idealised state, but a union of secrets and flaws and it broke my heart to think such things.

2011-06-28T15:22:00.001-07:00

2011-06-28T15:18:00.000-07:00

I realized now – not that I’ve never thought about it before, but because I avoid and don’t even dare thinking about such depressing and terrifying stuff – that when and if people in my life (both family and friends) pass away or walk out of my life, I won’t know what to do without them. I know, lame as fuck but life takes bad turns every day. What you have today might not be there for you tomorrow. I talked about this stuff with a friend today, stoned out of his mind, and the thought of losing someone is unbearable to me, I am terrified to go through something like that. Because I’ve been through that seven years ago and I can’t go through that again. I can’t, it kills me inside to even think of the possibility of losing someone, at least physically because there’s no way that can be fixed. And it freaks me out to know that that's what we all walk to. And I really need to stop talking to my friends while they’re stoned because they turn very philosophical and bring my "depressing" awareness back and I start thinking too much. And now my head hurts, not sure if because of the crying or the thinking.

I am sorry if I’m annoying whoever’s reading this, I just needed to get this off my chest and get the feeling that someone who’s not looking at me while I cry is sort of listening. So thank you whoever listened to my very depressing outburst. I am not always like this, as many of you may know. I’m also crazy as fuck. And a lunatic. A lunatic who’s having a very bad week.

Bye now.

2011-06-28T13:43:00.000-07:00

Théo, I love you.

2011-06-27T10:47:00.000-07:00

I feel like crying, but then I think about it and I feel like I’m being melodramatic. Because it’s not a big deal or nothing worth crying for. But then I think of how much I really wanted something to go right and all I can think about is how wrong it went and how messed up I am, because nothing ever goes right for me. Nothing ever goes right. I wish i could feel nothing, absolutely nothing.

2011-06-25T11:55:00.000-07:00

2011-06-20T14:48:00.000-07:00

So, my sister just gave me the terrible news that Ryan Dunn, that long bearded dude from Jackass has died today in a car accident, not related to any stunts. At least that’s what tabloids are saying. I’m in shock. Seriously, I have this weird knot in my throat, I don’t know whether to cry or whatever. I know it’s kinda stupid that I’m feeling like this because those guys were literally defying their death with their ridiculously dangerous, but still funny stunts. God, I love that guy…can’t believe he’s dead.

2011-06-19T02:37:00.000-07:00

2011-06-13T08:54:00.001-07:00

I mean, things don't need to last forever to be perfect.

2011-06-13T08:51:00.000-07:00

2011-06-13T03:30:00.000-07:00

Hey everyone, long time no see!

I know I’ve been gone for a few days and I should be the bearer of some news, but no, everything’s the same which means "busy-busy me". Since I have nothing to say, I’m going to be extremely critical because not only am I sick again but I’m also in a terrible mood too. So, I know the MTV Movie Awards 2011 were one week or so ago, but I’m watching it for the first time now and man, those awards were so unfair! Kristen Stewart gets an award for Best Female Performance? What the fuck? She keeps the same facial expression all the time, i mean, she might be the happiest person alive and you would never guess it, not in a million years; she’s awkward as hell and she still wins over Natalie Portman? Moving on…
Twilight gets an award for Best Fight Scene, instead of Inception. Are you freaking kidding me? Those were plastic mannequins you morons, go watch a documentary on the making of Inception, then we’ll talk about it. And Justin Bieber gets an award for Best Jaw Dropping Moment…on what, how highly stupid and fake he is? I think those awards were very unfair, in fact, I don't remember agreeing with any of them. I know it’s the public’s choice, but come on…Twilight as Best Movie? I remember Inception, Black Swan and Harry Potter being in the nominees and those three individually were so much better than Twilight alone! Don’t get me wrong, I like the Twilight Saga. I mean, I pre-order the tickets online to watch it in the movies. But…best movie? Seriously? So unfair and so sad to know people make such 'empty' choices based on how hot and famous the main actor is…because, lets face it: Robert Pattinson is really hot, have you seen Remember Me? I want that guy to be my boyfriend. But his performance in Twilight doesn't leave me head over heels, so no, I don't think he deserved the award for Best Male Performance. And I am done complaining. Bye now.

2011-06-12T08:41:00.000-07:00

2011-06-08T15:25:00.000-07:00

I feel the same, I feel nothing.

2011-06-08T15:24:00.000-07:00

2011-06-07T15:27:00.001-07:00

Out of sight, out of mind.

2011-06-07T15:26:00.000-07:00

2011-05-31T11:50:00.000-07:00

Unless I show it - which I don't really want to - I don’t think anyone can imagine how much I’m crying over this. And how many times I’ve listened to it on my ipod today. I’m happy, just in case you’re wondering, I’m happy and not at all depressed, I just love them. My god I love them too much, it makes me look like a crazy person. I wish I could see them live this summer. Fuck you stupid admission exams and fuck you stupid internship. I’ll remember to hate you both until they return to Portugal. Bye now.

2011-05-30T12:26:00.000-07:00

Hello everyone!

So, I’m pretty sure a lot of you have heard about The Perks of Being a Wallflower by Stephen Chbosky and how awesome it is. Well, I have - obviously. In fact, ever since Mara told me about it, my curiosity has been growing bigger and bigger for almost five months now. It’s been growing so much that I treated myself with a very bad downloaded copy from the book with no commas or paragraphs or what so ever. I read about ten pages and forced myself to stop, even without the commas and paragraphs and stuff. And that’s when I fell in love with another book.

You might also have heard that a movie based on the novel is being filmed right now, probably as we speak! So you know me, gotta read the book before it turns to dust, or into a movie in this case. And guess what, I decided to order it today! Hopefully this one will arrive sooner than Looking for Alaska, the book I ordered previously from the same company. Anyway, this was just a quick update because I’m afraid I won’t be setting foot here for the rest of the week. Just enjoying my last hours of freedom. Or procrastination. That’s actually more accurate. And yes, I’ve already started the short-list of songs, it will be up very soon!

Bye everyone!

2011-05-28T15:24:00.000-07:00

2011-05-28T07:49:00.000-07:00

I’ve been absolutely in love for the past three (four-ish) days. I’m serious, this is like an anthem for me at the moment. Don’t hurry, give it time. Things are the way they have to be. I wish I could stop listening to it. I don’t really, but you know…I kinda do at the same time. My dad already asked me how many times more will I listen to this song. Well, I don’t know dad, probably when I get tired of it. (Impossible). Either way, I can’t wait for their new album!

Anyway, I am so scared to leave my house right now...Never in my life have I been scared of thunder, and I don’t think I’ve ever been this scared of anything like right now. The sky is super dark, I can’t even begin to tell you how scary it looks outside. And to add up to that, there’s really loud thunder right in the back of my building. There’s sirens all over town which to me, it means something’s wrong. And guess what…this last night I dreamt of hurricanes. There we’re like, 15 hurricanes going on at the same time, and no damage at all. I always have weird dreams, so just forget I even said that. And now it’s raining. Like, really raining.

And by the way, just to let everyone know that I haven’t forgot to make that favorite songs list. I still remember that, but guess what…yep, you guessed it, I have a lot of stuff to do. Not also do I have a lot of stuff to do, but in addition, I have a lot going on at the moment, so yeah…you get the drill. But like I said: I haven’t forgot about that, it’s coming really soon!

2011-05-28T07:14:00.000-07:00

2011-05-25T13:29:00.000-07:00

It's 9.30 pm, I had dinner just an hour ago and now I'm making brownies. We can all laugh now, about my problems and my constant need to cook. The man who marries me, in about 30 years from now, will be a lucky son of a bitch. I'm happier, by the way. Not that anyone cares, but I'm not depressed anymore. I'm cooking.

2011-05-24T14:59:00.001-07:00

Show me the world as seen from the stars.

2011-05-24T11:26:00.000-07:00

2011-05-21T15:06:00.000-07:00

Hello everyone!

So, in the next few days I will be posting a list of my favorite songs ever, until today. Yeah, I’m not good at this stuff, but when I sort of brought this blog back to its life, I did promise I would be talking about new stuff besides photography and all that boring shit I used to talk about, so I’m making an effort here. And I feel like this blog is turning into a semi-twitter thing where I tell you that I usually get hiccups when I wash my feet on cold water, so no, we can’t have that. At least I know I can’t because that’s one of the reasons I started losing interest in the first place. Also, yes, I know I tend to ramble a lot, sorry about that.

So, the reasons why I’m doing this it’s because a) it has been requested on tumblr for like…four times on those “tag 10 of your friends” things but I don’t really like answering questions there, not publicly because everyone will see it and b) I hate posting text things there, my tumblr page is 100% dedicated to photography and illustration, no useless talk. So I’ll link it there, or send it to the people who requested this, I don’t know, I’ll figure that out later. I’ve also been requested to do my Top 20 on men. But we’ll get back to that later on, because that’s a hard task for me. You know, because I’m so boy crazy. It’s genuinely hard for me to pick only 20, and yes, you’re allowed to laugh now.

One other thing: I won’t be posting the list now because I just decided this and I haven’t had the time to do it yet. Because it’s hard, really hard. Harder then choosing 20 men. So I’ll be back in a few days with a list of my favorite songs ever, and I will try to keep it as small as possible, I swear I will.

Bye!

2011-05-21T14:45:00.000-07:00

2011-05-21T14:37:00.000-07:00

There's no blame for how our love did slowly fade. And now that it's gone, it's like it wasn't there at all.

2011-05-19T14:27:00.000-07:00

2011-05-17T02:25:00.001-07:00

I’m awesome. No, seriously, I’m awesome! It’s amazing what two cups of coffee can do for me, mentally. Yesterday I completed two portfolios, oh joy to the lord! And it’s not like I just made some adjustments, I actually started them. From scratch. 8 hours of work and 70 pages each, approximately. So yeah I had a really long day, no showers aloud and very careless meals, but who cares? One more to go, and then I’m officially done with my drawing classes. Happy happy me!